2 going on 12.


Having a daughter has been a blast thus far. I am blessed to have a boy and a girl so raising the two of them are very, very different experiences; and have complete two different personalities. As mentioned in previous posts, my daughter is intelligent, rambunctious, and really out of control, but so sweet; it is like she just knows what she’s doing. She knows not to touch a particular you of my sons, when nobody is looking she quietly walks overs, makes side eye contact with me, smirks and proceed to touch the toy. My daughter is 2 going on 20 and quite honestly I am concerned. Although I have quite a few years to go before certain situations have to be dealt with; those years will fly in front of my eyes and I must be prepared. Even though, realistically it is IMPOSSIBLE to plan anything when you are a parent and that includes just going to dinner.

Also, previously stated in other posts, I was quite the rebellious preteen/teenager; and my fears of my daughter taking after me is concerning and a plan needs to be put into action. Although, I want to be the “cool” mom like Regina George’s mom, but I also know that I need to be a respectable parent to my children. And most especially be the number one female role model she has in her life.

I am not being sexist in the fact that I am raising my children differently based on their genders; however girls and boys ARE different and in my opinion should not necessarily be raised differently but certain rules should be enforced for each gender. For today’s sake, we are going to focus on my daughters rules. Honestly because I didn’t mentally brain storm and boy rules yet.

Official MILF Rules for My Preteen/teenage daughter:

  1. You will not dress like a whore. You can wear trendy clothes that cover your navel and shorts that go past your vagina and pockets. I promise you I will buy you the clothes you want, as long as you don’t look like a slut.
  2. You will not wear a padded bra until you go away to college; and Victoria’s Secret is out of the question until at least 16. Who’s seeing your under garments anyways?
  3. Do not ever dumb yourself down for anyone especially a boy. Boys don’t like dumb girls they like intelligent girls who can have a comeback when they say something stupid.
  4. Any chance I get to match you… I will. You will participate in themed family portraits and always remember mommy and me pictures are timeless. 😉
  5. Unless you hit puberty and have super bad acne; you’re not wearing makeup. Enjoy your youthful skin that women in their 50s are paying mucho $$ for. My mother always told me that and naturally I never listened; listen to me.. Enjoy your face, enjoy looking young.. You’ll appreciate it one day.
  6. Do not lie to me. Don’t forget I played the game too and most likely better than you.
  7. You will not be a mean girl. I was a mean girl, and I still abide by some of the Offical Mean Girls movie rules; however it took me the hard way to realize nobody likes a mean girl except for other mean girls. Be nice; kindness kills and karma is a sick bitch.
  8. You will not be a bully. If I find out you are bullying anybody whether in person or in cyberspace; I will publically embarrass you.
  9. Shaving your legs is a privilege; but I promise I will never let you be embarrassingly hairy.
  10. You are going to get your period and you will grow boobs. Don’t be ashamed of it. I will help you every step through.
  11. You are going to think you met the love of your life; but I guarantee he or she is not. Don’t lose your friends over them.
  12. You are going to be peer pressured to do drugs and to drink. I want to raise you so that you make the right decisions. Don’t do drugs and don’t drink. And if you do, call me… Because if you get in a car with a drunk driver I will once again publically embarrass you, possibly even via media or worse social media.
  13. Never forget that I am your best friend. I will forever be your person💜

I am sure as the years go on… More rules will be added and some altered; except for number 12… I hope number 12 never changed.


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