G rated cursing


Now, I know this is something every parent of a toddler has gone through..having a potty mouth and your sponge of a 3 year old repeating every word that leaves your lips. Some people seem to not have an issue with cursing, but when fuck is part of your everyday vocabulary, this becomes quite a large dilemma. 

If you are anything like me then you did not realize how much you cursed until your 3 year old dropped his song book in mass and shouted fuck during the blessing of the Holy Eucharist. Typically, I do not get embarrassed by the commotions my toddlers make…they are a hot commodity; but this time I was mortified, It was by far way worst than the time my daughter farted in mass and everyone thought it was me.

You would think that after an incident like the church fiasco I would have minimized my foul mouth habits, naturally I did not. While shopping at the grocery store with my daughter an elderly woman asked her name.. how does she respond.. “in my butt.” Another time I asked her where her water cup was, she looks at me and says “in my butt.”

THAT WAS IT. Everyone around me and my babes needed to change their choice of eccentric vocabulary words. It took me a little bit, but eventually I got the hang out it.

  • Stupid bitch: Stoop kid
  • Fuck: yuck
  • Bitch: snitch
  • Asshole: apple
  • Cock sucker: sock trucker
  • Hoes: crows
  • Sluts: butt
  • “in my butt”: I don’t know`

 Having a sponge toddler, I am not going to lie is hilarious. ONE TIME, I accidentally called Mike the Knight; ‘Magic Mike’ and now my toddler asks to watch magic mike while out in public; specifically the pediatricians office.You can only imagine the judgmental looks I get.

Word to the wise: if you have a potty mouth, wean yourself off of it early…because once the infant becomes a toddler there is no turning back.


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