Is it just my kid?

2kids1milf

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Here is a compilation of the lucrative things my kids say and do:

  1. Wake up at 5:54 in the morning, every.single.day
  2. Insist on eating packets of jelly.
  3. Draw on walls (not just mine… Many many many places)
  4. Throw important things off of the deck and then cry for an hour about how they have to go get it.
  5. Feed the goldfish whipped cream.
  6. Asking what a tampon is.
  7. Stalk boys at the park.
  8. Is overly friendly, in turn forces unwanted conversations with myself and parents of children.
  9. Call wine ‘mommy juice.’
  10. Pee off the deck.
  11. Pee in the parking lot.
  12. Pee on a tree.
  13. Pee in front of a bounce house at a birthday party during the frozen balloon show.
  14. Squeeze creamers in their mouth.
  15. Insists on wearing spider man snow boots, at all times.
  16. Once in a while calls grandma, mom, in public, while it is my mother, my…

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