Here is a compilation of the lucrative things my kids say and do:
- Wake up at 5:54 in the morning, every.single.day
- Insist on eating packets of jelly.
- Draw on walls (not just mine… Many many many places)
- Throw important things off of the deck and then cry for an hour about how they have to go get it.
- Feed the goldfish whipped cream.
- Asking what a tampon is.
- Stalk boys at the park.
- Is overly friendly, in turn forces unwanted conversations with myself and parents of children.
- Call wine ‘mommy juice.’
- Pee off the deck.
- Pee in the parking lot.
- Pee on a tree.
- Pee in front of a bounce house at a birthday party during the frozen balloon show.
- Squeeze creamers in their mouth.
- Insists on wearing spider man snow boots, at all times.
- Once in a while calls grandma, mom, in public, while it is my mother, my son and my husband at a check out line.
- Pulls shirt down revealing entire bosom.
- Sees picture of Caitlyn Jenner.. Screams that looks like grandma!!!
- Goes through people’s purses and spreads what’s theirs all over.
- Bites.. Ferociously.
- Asks grandma when I say no, naturally getting their way.
- Telling on mommy to grandma.
- Randomly telling me they love me
- Holding my hand.. Just to hold my hand.
- Has never made me feel more love or happiness in my life.