Green-eyed Monster


Having children so young has always been life changing and gratifying. For the past 3 and 1/2 years I have been a stay at home mom (and no assholes I do not just sit around and watch lion king and play ring around the Rosie lol day) and don’t get me wrong I have loved every second of raising my children and watching them grow and learn to do their own activities and to utilize skills that I helped them obtain and goals that I have helped them achieve. For God’s sake they went from desperately having to have the shit wiped off of them one day and in a blink of an eye they are going to the bathroom by themselves. When they learned how to use a spoon for the first time or the first time they clapped their hands. These are all momentous expirences in an infants life and I am unbelievably grateful that I had the opportunity to stay home and watch it happen. But I would be lying if I didn’t say that I do get somewhat jealous of all the cool careers the people I know are getting or the really dope places they are going.. FUCK YOU SOCIAL MEDIA. 

I was 21 years old, just finished up meeting my new roommate at Temple University in Philadelphia. This was my year, finally getting out of my shitty hometown and moving onto bigger things. Little did I know was that at 21, this was going to be my year, it was just going to go in the most opposite direction I have ever anticipated. I always hold my son accountable for saving my life. I am a strict believer in intuition and that things happen for a reason. I did not go to philly for a reason and Lukas saved me from what could have been.

I love being a mother, especially to two perfect little babies in the world and everyday is so gratifying however there are those days I miss day drinking, taking a spontaneous beach trip or just even just going to have a drink with a friend without having to plan a baby sitter.

While I was pregnant, let’s just say I only had very few friends and that was majorly to the fact that they all just turned 21 and wanted to do all the fun activities I thought I would be doing. It’s funny those, those few friends I had while pregnant are to this day the closest people to me and my children.

Of course I am envious of all the exciting and new thing that the young adults my age are experiencing, but would I trade my kids in for a few nights at the bar? NO. I would not give up ANY of it. My toddlers have become my best friends and the most loyal people I have ever met. And at least now I won’t be the washed up, too old to be at a bar, single drunk with half bleached blondpe hair because her roots grew out too much and she can’t afford to get it done because she needs her Busch pounders. Just saying.. Life may not always turn out as you dreamed it to be.. But most of the times the life your life turns to be is better than anything you could have ever dreamt up.

And let’s never forget.. A baby is always a blessing never a mistake.


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